between “can i offer you an egg in this trying time” and “hail hydra” i cant tell which thing my friends keep quoting is the best
after my sims wedding this guy stayed throwing rice in the living room for over a week and then died there, I couldn’t get him to leave.
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
if you can’t beat them, dress better than them
*Jesus does the cup song at the Last Supper* You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.
I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.
Then I spend time with teenagers.
And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.
tumblr is like this:
we should be like this:
why would a cool jock like me want to get along with nerds?